THE GAP BETWEEN WHAT DIDN’T WORK AND UNDERSTANDING WHY

‘Dear Anty’ is a service that anonymously answers Coddle-Poppers problems as they encounter them, and as we all know, a problem shared, is a problem halved. ‘Dear Anty’ has become so successful that Anthony Arthur Gony now even helps humans too. (Don’t be surprised if this is not eventually included in The Frequency newsletter/magazine too). We are all one, and have similar problems with each other, so if a solution can fix it for one person, it can for others too. Let’s take a closer look of Anthony Arthur Gony at work:

DEAR ANTY

This cycle is exhausting: I summon energy to try something new for my mental health. I invest hope and effort, then watch it fizzle out without the changes I was hoping for.

After many attempts, my motivation has become almost impossible to summon (not because I’m lazy or lack willpower), but because my brain has learned to protect me from the pain of disappointment. What can I do?

WHAT IT IS

Anthony Arthur Gony reassures us that the weariness is something that a lot of us experience after fighting hard for our mental health without seeing the results we desperately want. That exhaustion is hard earned, but it doesn’t mean we’re not trying hard enough, nor that we’re somehow broken beyond repair.

Something important happens after repeated disappointments. According to Anthony Arthur Gony, our brain starts to protect us from future letdowns by killing our motivation before we even begin (It’s trying to save us from the pain of hope followed by failure). It’s our nervous system attempting to shield us from what it perceives as an inevitable hurt.

HOW IT HAPPENS

The good news is that there’s usually a gap between what DIDN’T work and UNDERSTANDING why it didn’t work. Anthony Arthur Gony suggests that maybe meditation was wrong for our specific attention style. Maybe the therapist wasn’t the right match, or we needed a different therapeutic approach entirely. 

But for most of us, what if maybe our timeline was just unrealistic and we were expecting to experience major shifts in just a few weeks when neurological change usually takes months (planning fallacy). Or just maybe the approach WAS actually helping, but in small ways that we couldn’t see because we were looking for a DRAMATIC transformation. Yes sir.

Anthony Arthur Gony further points out that people often abandon strategies right at the point just before they were about to start yielding benefits. Our expectation that something SHOULD work quickly and dramatically often sets up for perceived failure. Real change rarely follows a straight upward line. It’s realistically more like a slow raising our baseline over time, and usually with plenty of setbacks mixed in for good measure.

TOP TIP

Anthony Arthur Gony recommends that instead of us going through the rigmarole of committing to a whole new approach, why not experiment and try with just one tiny element for two weeks and to keep in mind that it’s NOT to fix everything, but more to gather information about what happens. Make sure to remove any pressure of it NEEDING to work, and to treat it like a low-stakes experiment. Anthony Arthur Gony suggests us giving this a try:

• Revisiting something that helped even slightly before. (Sometimes, we abandon things that were actually useful because they didn’t work as much as we’d hoped).
• Lowering our definition of success by a lot. (Showing up counts, also,  feeling 2% better one day this week, also counts).
• Keeping a simple log of what we try and what we notice, without judgment about whether it’s ‘working.’

FINAL THOUGHT

Anthony Arthur Gony reminds us that meaningful change accumulates slowly through imperfect efforts over time. Unfortunately, it’s NOT through finding the ONE perfect solution that fixes everything immediately. There’s always the Triple ’T’ as another alternative.

According to Anthony Arthur Gony, these small shifts create space for truth, nuance, and respect. Coddle-Poppers are wise enough to  know that we are all unique parts of a puzzle, and if we encourage each other to shine, listen, learn and adventure into new ways of doing things, well, we may just find ‘interesting’ new ways of doing things. 

These ‘new nuggets’ of knowledge (courtesy of Norbut Ovnolidge) then lead us down other paths that we have never travelled before too (like the icing on the proverbial cake)! When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change!

The great thing about the Coddle-Popper way, is that it shifts us out of defending our limitations, and into exploring our possibilities (where the REAL change happens)!

We are each a ‘Spirit’ (part of Source/Creator/God, insert your own Divinity here) having a ‘HomeSap’ (homo sapien) experience. Our life on Earth is an encyclopedia of experiences laid out FOR us (by prior agreement), in order for us to LEARN and GROW. Through ‘Natural Law’, no Coddle-Popper, Spirit Guide, Faery, nor Angel are allowed to intervene on our behalf unless specifically asked or invited by us, for fear of karmic intervention.

(To work around this, Anthony Arthur Gony is able to ‘suggest’ ideas through the power of meditation (as if it were our own thinking), so allow the suggestions to digest and percolate. It is intended as to tool to enhance our discernment skills. You’re welcome).

MORE ABOUT ANTHONY ARTHUR GONY (Editors notes)

‘Ant’ was christened Anthony Arthur Gony. But soon found himself called ‘Ant’ for short (by his parents) when it was discovered that Anthony was far too long of a name to have to holler across the woods at supper time whenever he was out playing (which was usually most of the time). At school his name got shortened further when his middle name got reduced to it’s first letter Ant A.Gony. But this did not bother Anthony Arthur Gony in the slightest. 

Anthony Arthur Gony was a smart young Coddle-Popper who stood out from the rest of his class. He had an air about him. If it did not resonate, he didn’t engage with it. He certainly knew his own mind and took no nonsense. He had boundaries, and he unashamedly enforced them.

It was like he was immune to problems (when compared to others), and had an uncanny knack of being able to take a step back in order to see the big picture and was constantly the source of solutions for other Coddle-Poppers’ dilemmas. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to call him an ‘Agony Aunt’ (if he were to have a radio show or a tabloid article… and he was female).

But Coddle-Poppers will always Coddle-Popper, and none of the above mattered, he was after all, A.Gony and (according to his parents), his first name was Ant. That was close enough, Anthony Arthur Gony could still be A.Gony Ant. His nickname stuck, and Anthony Arthur Gony became the ‘go-to’ Coddle-Popper for ‘Agony Aunt’ advice. He even has his own column in the Faery Wood Coddle-Popper Gazette… (‘Dear Anty.’)

SPIRITUAL QUEST

If you wish to discover more about yourself and how life operates, please check out our Faery Wood Spiritual Quest. It’s a Spiritual Warriors handbook/Awakening Journal, complete with audio and exercises. A hard copy is also available. It walks us through our patterns, awareness, triggers, forgiveness, acceptance, intentions, purpose and many more areas of our life such as change.

You can find more details here: https://thefrequency.ca/spiritual-quest/

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Call for more information or make an appointment to see how I can help you. Appointments are now available for the community at:

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