ASSUMPTION
Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser is the Coddle-Popper who seems to have ‘been there, and done that’ more times than any other Coddle-Popper I know! At a ripe old age of 973, if there was a hard way of doing things, he’s tried it (Not too dis-similar to some of us humans), with the wrinkles on his brow to prove it!
Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser and some of his buddies have compiled a compendium of ‘Stinking-Thinking’ instances where an easier way was found which he lovingly shares with us homosapiens with his monthly tips, in order to ease the emotional roller-coaster that we’re on. Today’s ‘Stinking-Thinking’ instance is about ‘ASSUMPTIONS’ and his longtime, old pal, Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder.
ASSUMPTIONS
Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder is a strange little Coddle-Popper. There’s a saying about when we assume, of how it makes an ass/ (of) U (you)/ and me (ass/u/me). Now as much as Coddle-Poppers find immense shock-value and naughtiness in using ‘ass’ as a nickname, that would be a bit harsh (Coddle-Poppers may be coarse, but they’re not cruel), but ‘donkey,’ well that’s fair game. Not only is it the first three letters of both his first and last name, but ties in wonderfully with his incessant habit… to assume.
Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser has noticed how (in everyday conversation), ‘I assumed you…(whatever)’ has become a lot more common and subsequently creates more and more problems.
To ‘assume’ seems harmless enough, but we need to remember that saying ‘I assumed you…(whatever)’ is a slippery slope when it comes to poor communication. Assumption turns a blind eye to observation, it bypasses enquiry, and (worst of all), it replaces truth with a liability (with the illusion of a shortcut). ‘I assumed you… (whatever)’ has sidelined proper conversation.
Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser describes an ‘assumption’ as a belief accepted as truth (but without proof). Assumption is a mental shortcut that substitutes missing information with personal bias, past experiences, and/or subtle fears.
Occasionally assumptions can be useful (quick decision-making), but Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder’s assumptions are often inaccurate and unfair (especially regarding interpersonal relationships).
WHY WE MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Both Coddle-Poppers and homosapiens are wired to look for patterns. When the brain finds itself with an incomplete picture, it tries to fill the gaps with PAST information. This might seem efficient, or even clever, but it is also dangerous. When Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder makes assumptions about other people, he often:
- Overlooks important details
- Fails to recognize personal growth/change
- Reveals more about himself (Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder) than the assumed subject
The consequence? Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder suffers more misunderstandings, false accusations, and unnecessary conflicts than any other Coddle-Popper we know!
WHAT ‘I ASSUMED YOU…’ MEANS
When Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder says ‘I assumed you…(whatever)’ he very rarely describes the other person accurately. Instead, he usually reveals:
- The projection of his own fears
- His lack of willingness (or his own fear) to ask questions
- His NEED to maintain control of the narrative
In short, ‘I assume’ has become Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder’s epitaph for ‘I didn’t ask’ and/or ‘I didn’t listen.’
THE COST OF ASSUMING
Assumptions damage communication because they create mixed roles:
- The ‘assumer’ (Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder) inadvertently becomes positioned as the authority.
- The other person unwittingly becomes a character in a script they didn’t write.
- In relationships (personal/professional/societal), this leads to emotional distancing, mistrust, and disconnection.
TOP TIP
So, the next time we lean towards making an assumption, let’s change our self-talk and think like a Coddle-Popper. Pause, take a breath, and swap out assumption with curiosity:
- Can I clarify something with you?
- What did you mean when you said…?
- Help me understand your perspective.
According to Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser, these small shifts encourage proper dialogue. They create space for truth, quirkiness, and respect.
FINAL THOUGHT
Folks FAIL to realize that assumption can MISTAKENLY portray the ILLUSION of intelligence, but if Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder is anything to go by, the truth is often the opposite. Proper understanding requires listening, asking, and observing (not guessing). If we want better conversations, stronger relationships, and better insight into others, Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser suggests that we pension-off the phrase ‘I assumed you…(whatever)’ and replace it with something far more powerful: CURIOSITY.
We all know what they say about when we ‘assume…’ and Donald ‘Donkey’ Keyferpharr-Tinlowder would not want want any of us having a nickname like he has!
Coddle-Poppers are wise enough to know that we are all unique parts of a puzzle, and if we encourage each other to shine, listen, learn and adventure into new ways of doing things, well, we may just find ‘interesting’ new ways of doing things. These ‘new nuggets’ of knowledge then lead us down other paths that we have never travelled before too (like the icing on the proverbial cake)! When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change!
The great thing about the Coddle-Popper way, is that it shifts us out of defending our limitations, and into exploring our possibilities (where the REAL change happens)!
MORE FROM TOMMY ‘TOP-TIPS’ TINKLEHAUSSER
Yes sir, there’s well over twenty different ways that our thought process messes with our mind, and here’s a list of the who’s-who that we shall break down with this ‘Stinking-Thinking’ series. (Please check out this link: https://thefrequency.ca/stinking-thinking/)
Blaming, all or nothing thinking, catastrophizing, overgeneralization, mental filtering, jumping to conclusions, emotional reasoning, labeling and mislabeling, personalization, discounting positives, fortune telling, mind reading, always being right, negative filter, selective attention, false consensus effect, comparisons, what if” thinking, unrealistic standards, black-and-white thinking, self-blame, filtering, magnification, minimization, the fallacies of heaven’s reward, change, fairness, control and should.
My goodness, that’s quite the list isn’t it, so every month we will walk through them one at a time, so that we know what we’re looking for, and can do something about it as soon as we recognize it.
If we don’t, most of these will lead to unrealistic expectations/frustration/stress/disappointment and emotional distress… especially if we continue doing nothing about it.
We are each a ‘Spirit’ (part of Source/Creator/God, insert your own Divinity here) having a ‘Human’ experience. Our life on Earth is an encyclopedia of experiences laid out FOR us (by prior agreement), in order for us to LEARN and GROW. Through ‘Natural Law’, no Coddle-Popper, Spirit Guide, Faery, nor Angel are allowed to intervene on our behalf unless specifically asked or invited by us, for fear of karmic intervention.
(To work around this, Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser is able to ‘suggest’ ideas through the power of meditation (as if it were our own thinking), so allow the suggestions to digest and percolate. It is intended as to tool to enhance our discernment skills. You’re welcome).
SPIRITUAL QUEST
If you wish to discover more about yourself and how life operates, please check out our Faery Wood Spiritual Quest. It’s a Spiritual Warriors handbook/Awakening Journal, complete with audio and exercises. A hard copy is also available. It walks us through our patterns, awareness, triggers, forgiveness, acceptance, intentions, purpose and many more areas of our life such as change.
You can find more details here: https://thefrequency.ca/spiritual-quest/
IMPORTANT: Our mind is a magnet. When we think of blessings, we attract blessings. Likewise, when we think of problems we attract problems too. So we need to do our best to make sure to always have good thoughts and be positive.
MORE ABOUT TOMMY ‘TOP-TIPS’ TINKLEHAUSSER (EDITOR’S NOTES)
We are each a ‘Spirit’ (part of Source/Creator/God, insert your own Divinity here) having a ‘Human’ experience. Our life on Earth is an encyclopedia of experiences laid out FOR us (by prior agreement), in order for us to LEARN and GROW. Through ‘Natural Law’, no Coddle-Popper, Spirit Guide, Faery, nor Angel are allowed to intervene on our behalf unless specifically asked or invited by us, for fear of karmic intervention.
To work around this, Tommy ‘Top-Tips’ Tinklehausser is able to ‘suggest’ ideas through the power of meditation (as if it were our own thinking), so allow the suggestions to digest and percolate. It is intended as to tool to enhance our discernment skills. You’re welcome.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
Coddle-Poppers and Fairies are not medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, physiotherapists, naturalists, pessimists, legal or financial strategists, or even anything else that could possibly end in ‘ists.’ If you need help in any of those areas, please seek the help of a certified, pertinent, professional.
Even though Coddle-Poppers and Fairies give their services for free and with love, all of our wishes, intentions and healing are released to the ‘Higher Power’ for the greater good. It is for this reason that, sometimes when wishes, intentions and healing becomes manifested, they are not quite as humans expected, and also… it may take a little while before the enormity of the wonderful gift that has been bestowed is finally realized. Yes sir!
Coddle-Poppers and fairies can NOT be held responsible for anything that happens in YOUR life, including anything bad or good, with or without chocolate on, as a result of you making your wish or intention. The point being, that life is what YOU make of it.
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